


The Law of Unintended Consequences

by AuroraWest



Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Gen, I drew inspiration from an existing character but he's basically an OC, M/M, POV Loki (Marvel), Post-Canon, Romance, Sibling bickering, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:01:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22870648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuroraWest/pseuds/AuroraWest
Summary: Loki's Valentine's Day is interrupted by an unwelcome phone call from Thor. All he wanted was an overpriced dinner, but now he finds himself fighting a D-list supervillain instead.
Relationships: Loki & Thor (Marvel), Loki/Stephen Strange
Comments: 12
Kudos: 112
Collections: MHEA Harlequin Hoopla Prompt Challenge 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jeweledichneumon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeweledichneumon/gifts).



> Written for Marvel HEA's Harlequin Hoopla, suspense prompt for February 14: Valentine's Day.
> 
> Special thanks to jeweledichneumon, who put together a truly impressive amount of research on the Wrecker for me after I put out a call for a possible villain for this fic. This fic wouldn't exist without them!

“Don’t you find this city a bit ridiculous at this time of year?” Loki sprawled across the bench in the library, idly tossing a spike from the Tower of Vayu. Strange and Wong weren’t particularly fond of him playing with it, but it was so difficult not to when it was such a ridiculous object. At least he could put it back together. Every time Thor was at the Sanctum, he managed to bring the whole thing toppling down.

Stephen, his head propped on his hand, glanced over at him. “No more or less than any other time of the year.”

“Really?” Loki balanced the spike on one fingertip. He sniffed. “The red and pink everywhere, overpriced chocolate, absurd lingerie in every other shop on Madison Avenue? People don’t care for roses this much at any other time of the year.” He tossed the spike again and caught it. “And why do so many buildings need to be lit red? It’s an eyesore.”

Going back to his studies, Stephen said, “You don’t like Christmas, either.”

“Asgardians don’t celebrate Christmas.”

With a glance towards Loki and a slight smile on his face, Strange said, “You should try to make Yule a thing.”

Loki shrugged and made a noncommittal noise, then, in one fluid movement, swung his legs off the arm of the bench and sat up. He left the spike on the bench. “Maybe next year.” Making his way to Stephen’s side, he said, “Where are we going tonight, again?”

Snorting, Stephen said, “For someone who hates Valentine’s Day, you’re certainly interested in reaping the stereotypical benefits of it.”

“Strange,” Loki said. “I don’t ask for much. I don’t need chocolate—Earth’s is vastly inferior to Alfheim’s—and I don’t need flowers—”

“Let me guess, inferior to Asgard’s?”

“Vanaheim’s,” Loki continued smoothly. “But I _do_ appreciate New York’s restaurant scene.”

With a small smile, Strange said, “What about lingerie?”

Loki waved a hand. “It bores me. Though I wouldn’t say no to _you_ wearing some.” When Stephen waggled his eyebrows, Loki laughed. “We can have passionate sex later, too, but I certainly don’t need a holiday as an excuse for _that_.”

For once, this made Stephen close his book and push it away. _Oh,_ well, interesting—usually comments like this did nothing; Stephen took his studies and his job too seriously. And it was hard not to suspect that he liked making Loki wait for it. But now there was a look in Stephen’s eyes that made heat settle in the pit of Loki’s stomach, and his hands found Loki’s hips as he asked, “Why wait?”

“Mm.” Loki leaned over, ran his hands through Stephen’s hair, and kissed him, tongue sliding into his mouth.

Then his phone rang.

Loki growled and ignored it, but Stephen pulled it out of his pocket for him. _So_ helpful. “It’s your brother,” he said.

Rolling his eyes, Loki took the phone, declined the call, and tossed it on the table with a clatter. The heat in his stomach was moving insistently down towards his crotch, and he lowered his mouth to Stephen’s.

But just before their lips touched, the phone began ringing again.

“You better get that,” Strange said with a laugh, pushing back in his chair and standing up. He brushed his trembling fingers across Loki’s jaw, shot him a smile, and added, “I’m going to get some tea, want anything?”

Glowering, Loki said, “I _had_ what I wanted.” Strange just grinned at him and vanished, and Loki picked up the phone and answered, already glaring as Thor’s face appeared on the screen.

“ _Hello, brother!_ ” Thor said cheerfully.

With an even more poisonous glare, Loki sat down in Stephen’s chair, planted an elbow on the table, and asked, “What?”

“ _Are you in New York?_ ”

Loki tilted his head. “What if I were to say no?”

Thor’s smile looked relieved. “ _Good, that’s perfect. Listen, do you remember an evil being by the name of the Wrecker?_ ”

Arching an eyebrow, Loki said, “I remember a _human_ who got hold of something he shouldn’t have who went by that name, yes. Why?”

Why? _Why?_ What was he thinking? The correct response to ‘do you remember such and such evil being’ was always a firm _no_ , absolutely not, it was nice talking to you, brother, but my wizard lover and I were in the middle of celebrating this ridiculous holiday, by which I mean I was about to get laid, so kindly fuck off, would you?

“ _Well_ ,” Thor said, “ _I just received a call from someone saying he’s the Wrecker._ ”

“Mm hm.” Loki hoped this conveyed his absolute disinterest in this conversation. “Well, I’m sure it was lovely to catch up—”

“ _No, actually,_ ” Thor interrupted. “ _He said he plans on taking everyone hostage at the Valentine’s Day Gala at the Museum of Natural History._ ”

Loki stared flatly at the phone. “And this concerns me how?”

“ _Well_ ,” Thor said, “ _apparently he plans on killing one hostage every thirty minutes until I come to face him. It seems he wants a rematch.”_

Drumming his fingers on the table, Loki said, “Yes, and?”

“ _Well_ ,” Thor said.

“Thor, I swear to the Norns, if you say ‘well’ one more time, I’m going to open up a portal to another dimension, walk through, and never come back.”

Thor looked put out, then intrigued. “ _You can’t do that. Can you?_ ”

With a sniff, Loki said, “I’m sure I could work it out if I stole Strange’s sling ring.” He sighed. “Would you get to the point? What does this have to do with me? Do you need Stephen to get you here quickly?”

The look on Thor’s face was almost enough to make Loki end the call. “ _Er, not exactly,_ ” Thor said. “ _I was just thinking, since you’re already_ there _, perhaps_ you _could go do battle with the Wrecker instead of me._ ”

“You’re joking.”

Imploringly, Thor said, “ _Brother, Jane and I have a date night. It’s Valentine’s Day here._ ”

“It’s Valentine’s Day here too,” Loki snapped. “And Stephen and I are going out.”

“ _But you don’t even like Valentine’s Day,_ ” Thor said.

“I don’t recall ever saying that.”

“ _Well, not_ exactly _in those words, but you said it’s the humans’ worst holiday of all and that it’s a sickening paean to crass commercialism and the glorification of Midgardian, heteronormative romance._ ”

“I’m impressed you were able to remember such long words,” Loki muttered.

Thor gave Loki a big grin. “ _Anyway, what do you say?_ ”

Loki blinked at him. “No! Absolutely not! He asked for _you._ Anyway, _you’re_ the Avenger. This is what you _do_.”

“ _You’re an Avenger too._ ”

“Let’s not go that far. I’m really more of a consultant.”

“ _Loki, it would be so much more convenient if you did it. And—_ ” Thor looked like he’d just discovered the meaning of life. “ _—just think, he asked for me. When you show up, he won’t be expecting that! You’ll defeat him easily!_ ”

Glaring, Loki said, “ _You_ could defeat him easily! All you need to do is hit him with a lightning blast!”

“ _Brother._ ” Thor lowered his voice and leaned closer to the phone. “ _I_ promised _Jane._ _And you don’t want innocent people to die, do you?_ ”

There was a sound from the door and then Strange’s voice said, “Why are innocent people dying?”

Thor’s face lit up. “ _Is that Stephen? Stephen! Hello! Loki, hold the phone up._ ”

Loki’s glare got more toxic.

Coming into the room and setting two mugs down on the desk, Strange said, “What’s going on?”

This was futile. Loki could tell when he was beaten. With a growl, he said, “ _Fine_ , brother, I’ll fight the Wrecker for you. But you owe me.”

“ _Yes, yes, of course,_ ” Thor said breezily. “ _Do you want me to get you a piece of that almond torte from the restaurant?_ ”

Loki rolled his eyes, then muttered, “Yes.”

With a grin, Thor said, “ _I know you’ll vanquish him with no difficulty! Oh, and Happy Valentine’s Day._ ”

The screen went black and Loki smacked the phone down on the desk, covering his eyes with his hand. “Cancel our dinner reservation,” he said despairingly. “We have to go vanquish a D-list villain.”


	2. Chapter 2

If Thor thought a piece of almond torte was going to make them even, he had another thing coming. A stabbing, most likely, somewhere it would really hurt, and when he was least expecting it. Loki could hide in his and Jane’s room, glamor himself into a hat stand or something, and wait there until his brother’s back was turned.

The Cloak of Levitation flared out behind Stephen as the two of them stepped through a portal into a street a couple blocks from the Museum of Natural History. Sirens were wailing nearby and a helicopter was _thwup-thwupping_ overhead. So whatever warning the Wrecker had given Thor, it hadn’t been all that much. Clearly, he’d already arrived on the scene and had taken a gala-ful of people hostage.

Loki and Stephen approached the museum from the back. “So tell me about this guy. What’s the deal? Why would he call Thor up and warn him what he was planning?” Stephen asked.

They stopped on the corner of Columbus and West 77th and Loki crossed his arms over his chest. “His name is the Wrecker,” Loki replied. “And he’s a human criminal.”

“Right, I kind of got that from context,” Stephen said dryly.

Glancing at him, Loki said, “It’s a bit of a long story.”

“Well, tell it fast.”

Loki rolled his eyes. “A number of years ago—er, actually—” He thought about it. “You probably weren’t even born yet.”

A smile twitching at Stephen’s mouth, he said, “Thanks for the reminder, cradle-robber.”

“Shut up, you’re the one with the gray hair and the paunch.” When Stephen’s smile turned into a disgruntled look, Loki grinned and poked at his stomach. It wasn’t _much_ of one. And besides, Loki liked it. “Anyway, Thor and I came down to Midgard for some reason or another, honestly Thor probably wanted to drink or womanize. Maybe that was the time he got it in his head that I should sleep with a human woman? Anyway, while we were here, we happened to get caught up in a crime this Wrecker fellow was committing.”

“Which was what?” Stephen asked.

Waving a hand, Loki said, “Who knows. Robbing a bank? Stealing a car? It was something small-minded and _very_ Midgardian. But my brother being my brother, you know, he _had_ to step in. And of course, I got dragged along.”

Wryly, Strange said, “That must have gotten in the way of you nailing a human woman.”

Flushing faintly, Loki replied, “My _brother_ thought it would be a good idea for me to—look, he always liked this realm, and he wanted to set me up with—anyway, that’s not important. Personally I was more interested in—well, causing trouble for my brother.”

“Man, you were trying to prank your wingman? Low blow, Odinson.”

Loki smirked. “I thought you wanted me to tell this story fast?” When Strange gestured for him to go on, he said, “The Wrecker’s weapon of choice was a crowbar. I… _may_ have imbued it with magical powers by calling on, er, Karnilla, Queen of the Norns. She owed me a favor!” he said defensively when Strange rolled his eyes.

“You know,” Stephen said, “when normal siblings prank each other, they just like, put their brother’s fingers in a glass of warm water to make them wet the bed.”

With an intrigued look, Loki asked, “Does that work?”

Stephen held his hands up. “Oh no, I’m not going to cause more Asgardian royal family drama.”

“ _Strange._ Does it work? Did you do that to your sister?”

There was a long silence. Then, Stephen finally admitted, “She did it to me.”

“Did it _work?_ ”

Putting his hands on his hips and clearly determined to ignore this question, Stephen said, “So, you gave a guy calling himself the Wrecker a magic crowbar to cause trouble for Thor. Did it work?”

“A bit too well,” Loki admitted. “It…was a whole thing. Thor almost died, I had to intervene to save him, et cetera et cetera, we brought the crowbar back to Asgard and put it in the back of Thor’s closet, where it stayed until it blew up along with everything else during Ragnarok.” Loki felt his face darken, then blinked away the sadness.

“Okay,” Stephen said. “So you took the crowbar, and the guy was in his, what, twenties? Thirties? And you did this in what decade?”

Blowing a huff of air out the side of his mouth, Loki said, “Stephen, you can’t possibly expect me to know the answer to that.” Then, he paused and thought. “That ‘Lucy In the Sky With Diamonds’ song was playing in one of the bars we were in.”

“Let’s assume it was the sixties. That would make this guy like a hundred years old.” Stephen raised his eyebrows. “How exactly is he spry enough to take an entire gala hostage?”

Loki cleared his throat. “Well,” he said. Damn, now he sounded like Thor. “It’s _possible_ that there was some transference of…ah…Asgardian longevity to him when the crowbar was enchanted.”

Giving him a flat look, Stephen said, “You’re telling me there’s some guy running around Earth with an Asgardian lifespan?”

“No! He’ll just…probably outlast his peers by a couple hundred years.” Loki’s fingers fidgeted. “If you wanted something similar done for you, it wouldn’t be difficult.” The look Stephen turned on him made him stop talking. Right. This was one of the fights they had and this wasn’t the right time.

Rubbing at his beard with his thumb and index finger, Stephen said, “But you and Thor took the crowbar.”

“Yes.”

“So why would he warn Thor that he was going to do this? He’d be crazy to go up against your brother without something immensely powerful.”

Narrowing his eyes, Loki said, “That’s what concerns me. I know your Sanctums have accounted for many objects of power that have made their way to Earth, but there have been times that they’ve fallen—and incursions into them.” When Strange made a noise signaling agreement, Loki said, “We have to assume he has something that’s made him foolish enough to think he can take on Thor.”

“Great.”

Loki shrugged.

With a sigh, Stephen straightened the collar of the Cloak and said, “Well, let’s go. The sooner we take him out, the sooner we can get something to eat.”

Rolling his eyes, Loki said, “To think I gave up our dinner reservation for this.”

As they reached the other side of the street and found a side door to the museum, Stephen said, “Are you really telling me you care more about a four hundred dollar prix fixe menu than saving these people?”

“It was four _hundred_ dollars?” Loki asked in dismay. “With or without the wine pairing? When’s their last seating?”

Stephen put his fingers to the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes.

Loki crossed his arms over his chest. “I suppose I should be happy that love is blind.”

At this, Stephen looked at him. There was a sardonic gleam in his eyes. “Oh, love isn’t blind. I just like a challenge.”

With a sharp smile, Loki reached a hand out and laid it flat on the door. Green limned his fingers and the surface of the door rippled. “After you, my dear doctor.”

Stephen returned the smile and stepped through the door. “I could’ve just used my sling ring,” he said.

Sniffing, Loki said, “Yes but it’s so _flashy._ Is that to offset some kind of insecurity?”

The two of them were silent for a moment, listening. Loki cocked his head but couldn’t hear anything. When he glanced at Stephen, his wizard sat down on the floor cross-legged, the Cloak of Levitation settling around him. “Be back in a second,” he said, resting the backs of his hands on his knees and curling his index finger and thumb towards each other.

Loki leaned against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest, and examined his fingernails. Of _course_ , now Stephen had to show off with the astral projecting. Next to him, Stephen’s body breathed deeply. Loki nudged him with a foot. No reaction, obviously. A smirk settled on his face and he leaned over, slipping one hand down the front of Stephen’s robe to run his ice-cold fingers down his chest.

And Loki felt the rush of magic next to him before he saw it. A blue slit opened in the air and Stephen’s head poked out next to Loki’s shoulder. “Do you mind?” his astral form asked.

“Not at all,” Loki replied brightly, splaying his palm and pressing down on Stephen’s bare skin.

The expletive that Strange let out was cut off halfway through as his astral form resettled back into his body. His eyes snapped open and he grabbed Loki’s wrist, glaring. Sexy. “We’re supposed to be saving people,” he said in a warning tone.

Loki tugged his hand out of Stephen’s grip, not roughly. Stephen would know this and it would probably annoy him, perceiving it as Loki patronizing him. There was value in getting Stephen worked up, though, because it might mean he’d be…ahem, _rougher_ later, once they dealt with this ridiculous situation and went back to the Sanctum.

Probably not. If Loki wanted that, he’d have to ask. Or just annoy Stephen in the moment. That was far more fun than asking.

Anyway, that was beside the point. Unfortunately.

“Did you find him?” Loki asked.

“Hall of Ocean Life,” Stephen said, sounding testy.

Loki shot a crooked smile at him and said, “It’s alright, Stephen. I can take care of it myself if you’d rather not tax yourself.”

Looking exasperated, Stephen said, “You’re being an asshole.”

Yes. Testing whether Stephen was _really_ up to a challenge. Really, it had been several years. He should have known this time-honored tactic by now.

“Mm.” Loki started down the hallway, clearly for staff use only, and Stephen followed him. He’d been to the museum enough times to find his way to the relevant room by himself, but Stephen still slipped past him and led the way. Neither of them spoke. Loki certainly wasn’t going to argue that he _wasn’t_ being an arsehole.

Soon, they reached the correct wing via back hallways. Loki cast a glamor over them and Stephen nodded at him in thanks. Then, they cracked a door open and crept out onto the upper gallery of the Hall of Ocean Life, kneeling down at the railing. The massive blue whale suspended from the ceiling drew Loki’s eyes, as it always did. This was his favorite gallery in the whole museum and he’d been known to spend entire afternoons sitting there looking at the displays, feeling the sun on his skin from the glass ceiling, watching the shadows from the clouds on the floor.

Now, the main floor of the hall was set up with tables for the gala. At least, it had been set up. Many of them were now overturned, food spread on the floor, broken glass glittering in the mood lighting. White tablecloths were stained red and Loki felt a tendril of unease before he realized it was wine. At least in the cases he could see.

On the far end of the hall, gala attendees were huddled in terror, grouped against the coral reef diorama. There was a figure stalking back and forth in front of the group, occasionally pausing over a well dressed guest and causing them to flinch away in terror. There was a rifle clutched in his hand. Hopefully he hadn’t killed anybody yet.

Stephen’s eyes narrowed. “What’s he doing?”

The glamor Loki had cast could probably get them closer, but he twirled his fingers and a pair of binoculars dropped into his hand out of his pocket dimension. Usually he just used them up on the cliffs outside New Asgard for whale and bird watching, but they’d work just as well for this.

He looked through them, focusing on the figure with the gun. “Oh, hel,” he muttered. Definitely the Wrecker. It was the same idiot from all those years ago. And unfortunately—but unsurprisingly—Loki had been right about the object of power. He pulled the binoculars away from his face and handed them to Strange, who looked through.

“There’s a scope on that rifle,” he said. “Shouldn’t be a problem.” Then, he squinted. “What’s he wearing on his head?”

“Yes,” Loki said. “ _That’s_ the problem.” Letting out a slow breath, he went on in a low tone, “I recognize it. Something Thor and I were once sent to…acquire. It was being put to nefarious purposes. Well, considering what it is, there aren’t really any other uses to put it to.”

Raising his eyebrows expectantly, Strange said, “Okay, and? What is it?”

Loki looked through the binoculars again to make sure he was looking at what he thought he was looking at, even though there really was no mistaking it. This was why the Wrecker had been foolhardy enough to tell Thor to come here. “An eyepiece that ensures the wearer will never miss their mark.” When there was silence, he added, “It gives you perfect aim.”

“Yeah, thanks. I knew what you meant the first time.” Stephen looked irritated but not particularly alarmed. Like they were stuck in traffic instead of plummeting off a bridge in a car. Loki was more of the opinion that they were stuck in traffic with somewhere important to be. There was no cause for panic, but a small amount of urgency was healthy for motivation. “Is this something you’re responsible for, too?”

Airily, Loki said, “No. Didn’t I just tell you Thor and I were sent to retrieve it?”

“You were the one that gave this joker powers in the first place when Thor was just trying to get you laid.”

“You’re never going to let that go, are you,” Loki muttered.

“Probably not,” Stephen said.

With a smirk, Loki said, “At least I never wet the bed.” Stephen’s clenched jaw and his disgruntled expression was quite satisfying. “Amora is responsible for it, actually. She gave it to some Spice Elves and they started causing trouble on Alfheim. I believe her aim was to draw Asgard’s forces into a fight.”

“Amora,” Stephen repeated. “The Enchantress? Knock-out blonde?”

Loki glared but said, “Yes.”

With a sharp, crooked smile, Stephen said, “Don’t worry, honey, you know I like brunettes.”

“Call me ‘honey’ one more time and you’ll never _like_ anyone ever again,” Loki hissed.

“ _That’s_ an empty threat, Odinson,” Stephen smirked.

The Wrecker looked towards the second level and both of them froze. Loki hoped the eyepiece didn’t have other powers, like granting the wearer the ability to see through glamor. But his eyes passed over them and returned to his hostages. One of them appeared to say something to him and he grabbed her by the wrist, jabbing the end of the rifle into her stomach. Loki’s eyes narrowed and his hands clenched into fists. As they watched, the sobbing woman took off all her jewelry.

“I told you,” Loki sneered. “Small-minded. He’s just _robbing_ them.”

Stephen’s fingers curled into spell-casting position but Loki put a hand on his arm. “There’s one further piece of pertinent information you should know before you go barreling in there, Sorcerer Supreme. Only the wearer can remove the eyepiece. We can’t take it off him. He has to remove it and give it to us himself.”

Dropping his hands, Stephen said, “I maybe would have led with that.”

“Noted for next time.” Sitting back on his heels, Loki regarded the scene below them. Ironically, Thor sending him to take care of this had been a stroke of unintentional genius. This would call for a plan. For tricks. It was a Loki fight, in other words. “Listen,” he said, his voice quiet. “This is what we’re going to do…”


	3. Chapter 3

Loki prided himself on his dramatic entrances. Perhaps it was—well, he’d been about to think genetic, but familial was the better word, because his father and brother had always been masters of the dramatic entrance themselves. His mother, Loki had no doubt, could have put them all to shame, but she had more grace than all three of them put together, so she’d had no need of them.

Point being, he didn’t skimp on a theatrical arrival, and this one was no exception.

The lights went off, plunging the room into darkness, and lightning spidered over the glass ceiling. Hostages screamed and several shots rang out. Luckily, they’d both assumed the latter was a possibility and a glowing orange shield, spinning with runes and incantations, had already appeared in front of the hostages, cutting them off from the Wrecker. He hadn’t been shooting at anything in particular so he didn’t hit anything, but Loki had told Strange he’d better get behind something anyway.

As Loki stepped through the portal that Stephen conjured for him, he allowed the illusion to drop and the lights came back on. The Wrecker stared at him, then looked back to the shield between him and his hostages, then finally back to Loki.

Loki smiled, knowing he looked resplendent in his horned helmet and full Asgardian battle regalia. “Sorry,” he said, “but Thor couldn’t make it. You’ll have to make do with a different Asgardian.”

There were four tables between them. The Wrecker grinned and said, “You’re the brother.” When Loki shrugged as if to say, _can’t be helped_ , the Wrecker raised the rifle to his shoulder. “Good enough for now.”

He fired.

Bullets would not, generally speaking and in the normal course of things, wound Loki. It would take an exceptionally lucky shot, straight into an extremely vulnerable part of his body—where the skull met the spine, for instance, or an eye—to fell him. The Wrecker, of course, had perfect aim.

The bullet hit Loki dead in the right eye.

“Do you know,” Loki said, appearing to the side of the Wrecker, leaning his hand on a table, “my brother’s missing his right eye. You could make it into sort of a family thing. I mean, if you actually managed hit me—”

The Wrecker fired again, once more straight into Loki’s eye socket, but then Loki was on his other side. “Funny story, actually,” Loki went on. “About the eye. He’s lost it twice now; the first time it was fighting our sister, the second time was fighting this interdimensional warlord—”

Another shot, another miss. Loki, the real Loki, his back to a column, was watching Stephen evacuate hostages through a portal, occasionally offering a steadying hand when someone stumbled in their haste to escape.

His illusion flickered into being in front of the Wrecker. “Face it, my inadequately armed friend, you can’t possibly hope to go up against an Asgardian and win. Not with _that_ old thing.”

The Wrecker roared and swung his rifle like a club at Loki, but of course it passed right through the illusion. The force of the move made him stumble and spin, and his eyes fell on Stephen’s portal.

Loki snapped his fingers and his illusion disappeared. “Get the rest of them out of here,” he said to Stephen, stepping out from behind the pillar.

“He might actually kill you, you know,” Stephen said.

“Yes, well.” Loki straightened his helmet. “Death has never really seemed to take.”

Stephen rolled his eyes but shouted for the rest of the hostages to hurry. The Wrecker seemed torn on whether to go around Strange’s shield and start shooting hostages or fire at Loki, so Loki helped him make the decision. “You’re just as stupid as when Thor and I fought you all those years ago, aren’t you? I can’t believe you thought you could take on my brother with that silly little gun.” Not at all subtle, but then again, this wasn’t a subtle villain.

With a snarl, the Wrecker swung the rifle around. “It’s only gonna take one shot to splatter your damn Asgardian brains all over the wall,” he said.

Magic crackled at Loki’s fingertips and he brought his hand up just as the Wrecker fired.

A glowing shield of orange spun into being in front of Loki and the bullet pinged off it. Suddenly, Strange was next to him, the Cloak of Levitation streaming out behind him as he dropped to the floor from a height of several feet.

“The Bleecker Street Wizard?” the Wrecker said, sounding confused.

Making a face, Stephen said, “Never been a fan of that name. It’s Doctor Stephen Strange, and I’m going to need you to hand over that gun and those enchanted swimming goggles.”

“Yeah right, Harry Potter,” the Wrecker said, aiming the rifle at Strange.

Before he could fire, Stephen opened up a portal and stepped through it, pulling Loki with him. They reappeared on the second level of the gallery in full view of the Wrecker, who took aim again. But Stephen opened another portal for them to step through. As they reappeared on the main floor in front of the dolphin and tuna diorama, Loki asked, “The hostages?”

“Safely on the other side of the NYPD cordon,” Stephen replied.

Loki smiled and gripped Stephen’s hand briefly. “Good.”

Then, he held out a hand. Green ropes of magic shot from his palm, wrapping around Strange’s arms and legs, twisting the Cloak of Levitation into knots, and looping around the columns to hold him in place, strung up like a spider caught in a web. Baring his teeth, Strange snarled, “Loki, what the hell are you—”

But Loki said, “Shh,” and flicked a wrist, sending one final tendril of green snaking across Strange’s face to cover his mouth.

The Wrecker, meanwhile, was holding his fire. Loki’s mouth turned up in a smile and he held his hands up, palms out. “Now that _he’s_ out of the way,” Loki said, “I propose a bargain.”

There was a wild, distrustful look on the Wrecker’s face. “You just came here to fight me! I’m not going to fall for that, you alien sonofabitch!”

Tilting his head and staring down the muzzle of the rifle, Loki said, “I came here because my _brother_ couldn’t be bothered to deal with you. You called him, didn’t you? Because you wanted a rematch? You were humiliated by Thor all those years ago and you just _had_ to show him up. Believe me.” Loki put a hand to his heart. “I know the feeling. But here’s the thing.” Holding both his hands out again, he said, “You weren’t worth his time. But I can change that.”

The wild look was receding from the Wrecker’s eyes, but he still looked distrustful. Loki could tell he was thinking about this. Turning it over in his mind. The Wrecker shook his head and said, “No way, you’re an Avenger. You’re a good guy. This is a trick!”

His voice was filled with doubt. Loki gave him a pitying look. “ _Me?_ An _Avenger?_ I’m _Loki_. I’m always playing the long game. It’s been…unfortunately necessary to work with the Avengers from time to time in order to gain their trust.” He gestured lazily towards Strange. “As you can see, it worked marvelously. These do-gooders are all _so_ predictable. _So_ easy to manipulate.”

The Wrecker looked from Strange, gagged and restrained in ropes of green, to Loki, who was smiling very slightly. It was a smile that certainly did _not_ say ‘trust me’—but then, wasn’t that the point? No one _trusted_ Loki. They only trusted the fact that he could do something for them. “Okay,” he said, the rifle still aimed at Loki’s face. “Keep talking.”

Lowering his arms slowly, Loki said, “I’ve wanted to get my hands on the Sorcerer Supreme’s sling ring for a long, _long_ time. And now—” With a dramatic flourish, he held up Strange’s ring, twirling it in his fingers. Expertly palmed. Liar, cheat, _and_ pickpocket; honestly, Loki was the complete package. He threw a smug look over his shoulder at Stephen, who was glaring at him, his eyebrows drawn together. “—thanks to you and this little hostage situation of yours, I was finally able to do so.” Abruptly, he stopped twirling the sling ring and held it out. “So let’s trade. The Sorcerer Supreme’s sling ring for that eyepiece.”

The Wrecker put a hand to the eyepiece. “If you’ve wanted that ring for so long, why would you give it up for this?” he asked suspiciously.

With a chuckle, Loki said, “The long game, remember? My brother is expecting me to return an Asgardian artifact to his possession. And if you know anything about my family…well, suffice it to say, you understand the bad blood between my brother and me.” Actually, Loki was quite sure this idiot was aware of no such thing. “It’s in _my_ interest to keep him from suspecting anything…until the right opportunity comes along to stab him in the back. And I think it’s fair to say, my friend, that _you_ will be able to help me with that…”

When the Wrecker looked unsure, Loki shrugged and said, “Or don’t give me the eyepiece. I’ll still come away with the ring. You’ve seen what it can do—it’s not a bad consolation prize.”

This made up the Wrecker’s mind and he pulled off the eyepiece. “Give me the ring.”

Loki held up a finger, his smile sly and crooked. “Ah ah, I’m not a fool. We exchange our magical artifacts at the same time.” He took a step forward, holding the sling ring out, his other arm outstretched.

Quickly, the Wrecker stepped forward, grabbing the sling ring as he dropped the eyepiece into Loki’s open hand. As the Wrecker grinned toothily, Loki vanished the eyepiece into his pocket dimension.

“I think I got the better end of the deal,” the Wrecker said.

“Mm, well, you could say that,” Loki replied. With a twitch of his fingers, Strange’s actual sling ring materialized on his fingers in a shimmer of green. The ring that the Wrecker was holding shimmered with green as well, turning into Loki’s binoculars. Loki held out one arm, the way he’d seen Stephen do a million times, and curled his fingers into the proper position. As he circled his arm, an orange portal opened up on the floor beneath the Wrecker’s feet.

As the Wrecker fell through, screaming, Loki added, “A free trip straight to an exotic location. Transportation expenses included, though I’m afraid you’re on your own for room and board.”

The portal closed and Loki waved a hand, freeing Stephen, who dropped to the floor, landing on his feet gracefully.

Loki held out a hand, admiring the sling ring on his fingers, saying, “I _knew_ I could work out how to do that if I had this thing.” As Strange joined him, he shot a bright grin at him and added, “You see, Stephen, I _am_ a better sorcerer than you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Stephen said, rolling his eyes. Loki couldn’t help preening, adjusting the sling ring on his fingers to better effect. This wasn’t a retort, which meant Stephen couldn’t think of one, which meant he was impressed. “Where did you send him?”

“Oh,” Loki said, flicking a wrist. “Just one of the Nine Realms.”

“Which one?”

Loki’s grin got more crooked. “Muspelheim. Not one of my favorites, personally. It’s so _hot_. You know, my Frost Giant constitution and whatnot.” He paused, tapping his chin. “Come to think of it, though, it probably wouldn’t be all that comfortable for a human, either.”

Rolling his eyes, Strange said, “Can I have my sling ring back?”

“But it looks so good on me.”

“Loki.”

With a long-suffering sigh, Loki slipped the ring off his fingers and tossed it to Stephen, who said, “The coordinates of Muspelheim, please.”

Loki placed his fingers delicately on Strange’s forehead and concentrated, sending the knowledge flowing through him straight to Strange’s brain. Stephen jerked, his eyes rolling back, then shook himself and nodded. Narrowing his eyes, Strange circled an arm and a portal opened up above their heads while another opened on the floor.

There was a wail as the Wrecker plummeted from the portal in the ceiling, through the room, and into the portal in the floor. His clothes appeared to be smoldering. As his form passed by, Loki reached out an arm and plucked his binoculars back out of the Wrecker’s grip. What? They hadn’t come cheap.

The portal overhead snapped shut and Loki peered through the one in the floor before it lensed closed. A holding cell of the NYPD 20 th Precinct was visible, and inside it, the Wrecker sprawled on the floor, trying to blow out sparks creeping over his clothes.

Then the portal shut and Strange said, “More appropriate, I think.”

Loki made a face at him. “Is it, though?”

Strange gave him a warning look and Loki laughed. Then, Stephen glanced at his wrist, where he wore a working watch next to the broken one that Christine had given him. “If we leave now we can still grab a bite to eat.”

“The four hundred dollar prix fixe menu?” Loki asked hopefully. The look that came over Stephen’s face was rather what Loki imagined he’d looked like when he’d had to deliver bad news to his patients when he’d been a surgeon. Loki sighed. “Thor _really_ owes me,” he grumbled.

With a chuckle, Stephen opened a portal, and the two of them stepped through.


	4. Chapter 4

They had pizza, which was _fine_ , Loki supposed, though hardly what he’d been looking forward to. It was a greasy, hole-in-the-wall place that Stephen said had been there forever. “I used to come here during college when I was pulling an all-nighter,” he said as he folded his pizza. Grease dripped off it.

Loki raised an eyebrow. “It’s a wonder you survived long enough to almost die in that car accident if this is the kind of thing you were subsisting on.” Stephen just laughed. Loki smiled and met his eyes, and even though the fluorescent lights overhead were buzzing and made everything look harsh and washed out, he found himself thinking that maybe this was actually exactly what he wanted.

When they were done, they stood outside for a few minutes, not speaking. It was chilly, Loki realized. Not uncomfortable, at least not for him, but their breath was fogging in front of them and frost was starting to creep across the sidewalk, sparkling in the orange glow of the streetlights. A thousand tiny crystals, quietly pretty in the midst of this chaotic city.

“Want to walk home?” Stephen asked, pulling his gloves on.

Loki looked at him, surprised. “All the way back to the Village? From here?”

Stephen held out a hand, smiling, his eyes holding Loki’s and reflecting back gray and green and blue, colors that had no right to be there under city streetlights and halogens. Loki took it, tightening his fingers around Stephen’s.

The two of them walked, hand in hand, from the Upper West Side, skirting around Times Square and the theater district because Loki hated the crowds, finding a quiet street with little traffic and parked cars jammed on either side of the street.

Ten blocks or so into the walk, Loki tucked his arm into Stephen’s, pulling his human closer. Strange reached up and covered one of Loki’s hands with his, and Loki interlaced their fingers. It was amazing how quiet the streets could get, really. The city wasn’t supposed to ever sleep, right? And yet here they were, strolling down the road arm in arm, breath fogging in front of them, alone except for streetlights and parked cars. No unwanted phone calls, no Wreckers, just them.

“You know,” Stephen said, “I’m kind of surprised you came today. This isn’t exactly your holiday.”

Arching an eyebrow, Loki said, “You should know by now that I never miss an opportunity to be in your company.”

“That should be a nice thing, but somehow when you say it, it sounds sarcastic.” When Loki just raised his eyebrow higher, Strange laughed. His fingers squeezed Loki’s. “I’m glad you came.”

“Even if we didn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day the traditional human way?” Loki asked.

“I haven’t had a quiet holiday since I became a Master of the Mystic Arts,” Stephen said with a chuckle. “Something about them really makes all the interdimensional parasites, soul-sucking universe jumpers, and mind mites come out.”

With a snort, Loki said, “So the Wrecker was relaxing compared to all that.”

“The Wrecker was fun.” Stephen’s eyes glinted. “Because you were here.”

They stopped walking, as if by some unspoken cue, and looked at each other. For a moment, Loki let himself drink in Stephen’s eyes, bright with intelligence, their color still shifting. “Yes,” he said, then leaned down and kissed Stephen softly.

He felt a gloved hand on his head as Stephen returned the kiss, his lips sending shivers through Loki that had nothing to do with the temperature. Leaning his forehead against Stephen’s, Loki murmured, “Perhaps we can make a tradition of it.”

Stephen raised his eyebrows. “How many more accidental supervillains did you create?” Loki arched an eyebrow and Stephen laughed. “I guess I should be glad you want to take them out.”

“I’m a good guy, Doctor Strange,” Loki said. Then, he tilted his hand from side to side. “More or less. I wouldn’t want to rob you of your _challenge._ ”

With a laugh, Stephen murmured, “Come here,” then pulled Loki close and kissed him again, harder, fiercer, his shaky hands not struggling at all to hold him. Stephen always kissed slowly, like they had all the time in the world, like there was nothing outside the two of them. And Loki knew that was the furthest thing from the truth. He was dating the Sorcerer Supreme. And his own responsibilities weren’t insubstantial. But when they were together, when Stephen kissed him like this, like a drowning man savoring each breath of air, it all went out of his mind. All that mattered was them. For a little while, at least.

And if that was what Valentine’s Day was about…well, perhaps Loki could see his way to liking it, after all.


End file.
